FEMINA

An article from the JDD - FEMINA  by Eliane LE REIN Traduction by Selima AYOUB Douce ALBERTINI : “Being a matchmaker is a job which works through intuition and instinct. When I believe in someone, I never give up.” HER JOB : matchmaker. HER METHOD : custom-made services based on her intuition. There nothing similar with the business of matrimonial agencies. Douce Albertini claims her happiness: “making up the happinees of the others”. But how? “Three years ago during a dinner at common friends, Douce asked me whether I was in love. I burst out laughing. Oh no, not me! I knew about Douce’s activities, her results impressed me, but in spite of being divorced, I didn’t feel concerned” explains Sacha, an attractive forty-year old doctor. That night, while talking with him, Douce can only think of Emilie, one of her “clients”, sorry “accomplices”, to whose she committed herself, one year ago to find her the soul mate. “I could see Micha and Ophelie together, something so obvious” she remembers. Emilie works in computer science: she is thirty-four year old, lively and cheerful woman; she has plenty of friends and goes out a lot. She has been divorced for four years and she is tired of thinking that luck slips away. That is at this point that an article about Douce Albertini attracted her. Her unorthodox methods seem efficient. So why not? A STRICT SELECTION Douce works and receives at home in her living-room. There she points out her children’s photos. The atmosphere is warm, she is wearing jeans and a pullover, she is relaxed and immediately uses the less formal “tu” instead of the formal “vous”. “If I don’t, I can’t express myself, I am not a formal woman”. Voluble, she speaks of her boyfriend, the girls she is taking care of, then getting serious she explains: “I never ask people to sign a contract immediately in the course of our first interview because I want to be certain I’ll be able to commit to my engagements. For this purpose, I must establish a true affectionate relationship with my “accomplice”. If I haven’t got any particular feelings for the person, I turn him or her down”. Which she often does: after a broadcast she can get 2000 calls and only keep 10 candidates. The selection is done through the work she requires from her future “accomplices”: they have to write a biography of at least fifty pages, where they have to write down, without cheating, memories of their childhood, family story, sentimental experiences, the people that have impressed them positively as well as negatively, photos… Then I have a tremendous lot of work. During an appointment for a contract, which usually lasts two hours, I can remain more than eights hours with the person , take him or her to dinner, discuss with him or her until the early hours of the next morning.” THOUSANDS OF QUESTIONS To find the souls mates of her “accomplices”, Douce looks in her acquqintances and uses internet also. She strictly selects the answers and during two to five months the candidate has to answer thousands of questions on his or her personality, the earnestness of his or her motivations ….Frederic who flashed four months ago on Laetitia via the Net does not know yet either her name or her address. He has just met Douce “The seriousness of her process impresses me” he confirms. Douce only asks her “accomplices” to pay. She never asks the people who answer her request to pay. She is already preparing a surprise encounter for next month. Frederic is smart, intelligent as well as warm; Laetitia is more reserved, she is very sensitive although she seems a little cold. It should be fine. To be continued then… A REAL COACH With her sylphlike figure and her mocking smile Charlotte has everything to attract anyone. But there is a problem: she is morbidly shy in front of men. The more in love she is, the more she depreciates herself until she gets panicky. From running away to running away, at thirty two years old, she understands she is wasting her life. What can she do? A friend of hers talked to her about Douce Albertini, then she thinks it may be her last chance. However she hesitates for two years before getting in touch with Douce. It is not easy to admit that you are not able by yourself to enter into a sentimental relationship. “The stories of these people who are not able to meet people, to find love, deeply upset me. In a way, I take the place of the fate.” As a coach then she takes Charlotte under her wings to “boost” her and to teach her how to finally love herself. “My work often consists, at first, in putting people back into orbit, by helping them to feel better in their bodies and their minds. Finally marriage is like the cherry on the top of the cake”. The warm Corsican woman specifies. For Charlotte her work will consist in accepting at last to get rid of her bulimia. For Emmanuelle, who had decided to hide her sensitiveness under an overweight body, she had to go on a diet, to learn how to bring out her red hair and her milky complexion rather than to dim them with shapeless gaudy clothes. Today she has lost 12 kilos and won a prettier smile after wearing for several months braces to straighten her teeth. “She is ready! I looked over her clothes with her; I made her choose soft bright fabrics. Finally she changed her makeup and her hairstyle. On Wednesday, I introduce her to Cyril.” READY TO MOVE HEAVEN AND EARTH Douce says: “I’m tough! I never hesitate to tell people what is wrong with them!”. Charlotte answers: “But she never judges. In very few words she understands everything. For eight months she hasn’t given up on me. She gave me psychiatric addresses. She offered me to come and spend a week with her to help me to control what I eat. She even invited me to spend a week in Senegal with her. With Douce  the “go ahead”, the shy Charlotte begins to bloom. Three months ago Douce had someone in mind for Charlotte, just mentioned it to her, “a very fine man”. Charlotte and Philippe call, mail each other. “I like him very much, once again I’m afraid that I won’t be good enough”. The young woman regrets, until to now she has not managed to met him. Not easy to chase her old devils. Is it just a matter of time? Douce does not worry too much. For her little Boubou she is ready to move sky and earth. If Douce’s “accomplices” are hand-picked, she sometimes takes risks. Two years ago she received Vincent, a forty-two-year old cabinet maker, she felt torn apart. Vincent suffers from the disease of Little which finds expression in a disarticulated walk. Nothing a priori in that man can attract a woman. But when she receives his biography, she discovers someone of great intelligence, humour and value, she was terribly upset. “That was too unfair, I hesitated, I couldn’t sleep any more. Finally I accepted”. However she warns him in her abrupt plain way of speaking : “You know with normal people it’s not always easy, so with you we’ll have to hold on!”. It is precisely that straight way of speaking that attracts him. Matrimonial agencies lured him with bright prospects before leaving him broken, feeling more lonely than ever, the women accept a five to seven rendez-vous with him but refuse to be seen with him…all that grief, he can’t bear it any longer. TO MAKE THE OTHERS HAPPY Less than three months later Douce confides in Brigitte, one of her friends. That thirty-eight-year-old dark-haired bachelor is an engineer. A bit Machiavellian, Douce paints a catastrophic portrait of her “accomplice” even exaggerating his handicap before asking for her advice. Brigitte looks at Douce and murmurs “But he is the man of my life!” Vincent and Brigitte wrote to each other, called each other for a month before meeting. “Even before seeing each other, we were deeply attached to each other. It was almost Christmas. Douce wanted us to meet out of our usual background”. Vincent remembers. A rendez-vous is taken in Prague, one thirty-first of December under the porch of a church where they fall into each other’s arms. Married for a year they are expecting their first baby for May. “I’ve already got seven “grand-sons”, Brigitte’s little one will be my first “grand-daughter”, Douce finishes proud of her “descendants”. I work sixteen hours per day, seven days a week. But it’s my life! Making people happy is my knack!”. And what about chance in all that? SAMUEL LEPASTIER, A PSYCHANALYST’S OPINION To fall in love, you must not be pleased with your life, you must be in search. Whether the encounter is arranged or not it is never by pure chance. Douce Albertini’s “accomplices” have a voluntary approach. But they need to be, at least unconsciously, ready to assume it. Douce Albertini takes the function of matchmaker to the extreme, a function that has always existed. Moreover, in a way, she plays the part of an educator for adults, unlike matrimonial agencies. On the other side, to build and succeed a relationship, the couple needs some approbation from their close. In that case, the approbation is given by that friendly “witch”. Finally, accepting to be helped is probably easier for women than for men. Some men are taking the risk of feeling that they lose their ability to conquer.

 

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